I am sad right now. I am sad that a lot of myths people hold dear are not real. I am sad because Christmas was my grandfathers favorite time of the year. There was nothing off-limits around Christmas.
He is gone and I always feel a bit of melancholy about this time of year. Being sick and work related stress aren’t helping.
But I’m mostly sad because I will never see my grandfather again. I will never hear his stories and his sage advice. I will never marvel at his skills with tools and mechanics.
He is gone.
Even if you believe in heaven, he is still gone. Heaven is (according to the Bible) a place to worship God all day and night for eternity. No evil can exist there. And all people have that little touch of evil in them. Oh it’s much less in some than others. But if we go to heaven and are not complete as we are, then we no longer exist. We are a mere shell of what we were… incomplete.
And that’s what saddens me most. All the lies told by those who would comfort us when a loved one dies. For they are lies. No one can prove heaven even exists, much less what it is like. All we have is the ravings of a 1900 year old man, who (for all intents and purposes) appears to be on LSD.*
Further, it doesn’t matter, because we’ll be dead too.
All that we have all that we know can only come from what happens during our lives. When we die, it just stops. We only can exist in the minds of those we have interacted with… and a few telemarketers databases.
I have had the fortune of touching hundreds of thousands of lives, soon to be millions of lives, in a way that few people can match. Those people will never know my name, but there is a direct affect on their lives by how well I have done my job. For that reason, not for fame or money, is why I do the best job that I can.
One should not tell a child that their dead parent will be watching them from heaven. Evil can’t abide in heaven and there is too much evil in the world for it to be observable from heaven.
One should not tell a child that their dead parent will be waiting for them in heaven. Want is an emotion that leads to a variety of condemned thoughts in heaven and has no place there.
One should not tell a child that they will find their dead parent in heaven. That person cannot know that and disappointment cannot exist in heaven.
For if any of these exist in heaven, then it cannot be heaven.
It’s a damn shame, but even those who believe in heaven would be best just to say, “Child, your parent is gone. All that remains are the memories that you carry with you. Do not forget your parent, for when you do, they are truly gone from this world.”
Sucks, but that’s the way it is. Death sucks. It sucks to be missing that person whom you love so dearly. But time will lessen the pain and that is the only thing that will lessen it.
* I speak here of the writer of the Book of Revelations, which is where we get our ideas of heaven from.